"Marriage isn't for you"
Monday, 30 December 2013
Marriage isn't for you..
I came across following article and realized some of the mistakes I did.. Marriage or a relationship is not for you infact it's for the person you love.. Very insightful and eye opening article..
"Marriage isn't for you"
"Marriage isn't for you"
Thursday, 19 December 2013
Life is a ....
How many times have you come across the term "Life is a Journey" ? I guess it's a term use by people at every given opportunity. In Sri Lankan social context, I think "Life is a bus ride" compared to a journey. When you think along this line, you'll realize "life is a bus ride" is more fitting to our society than the latter.
When you board a bus, you have some sense about your final destination. However, some people might get into the bus without knowing where to go or where to get down but nonetheless they are going on a journey without much sense. Most of us will know where to get off the bus. Sometimes, a bus ride could be joyous, tolerable, or an utter misery.
Whatever opinion you have on bus rides, you have to accept the fact that it could be an exciting one. You will acknowledge diverse set of people we come across in a bus ride. Some will smile; some will form life long friendships or become your "Bus Buddy"; some will give you a seat; some will take you bag (or luggage) will help you out; some will frown; some will hate you for stepping on their feet. Then there's some less fortunate ask for your help, various street sellers, and occasional 'Virudu' guy where you'll give if you have any spare change. Also if you really unlucky someone will come and rob you broad daylight. Now do you start to see some similarities between our life and a bus ride.
Out of all those distractions what fascinates me most are the colorful people that one will come across. The sad part is you can't screen those people before you bump into them. Some people will make you happy, some people will make sad, some people will hurt you, some people will add mystery; some people will make you wonder. Whoever you meet, there are primarily three types of people. They are bad, good and affectionate. The bad people we meet will rob our dignity, love, affection or maybe even life. The good people will only steal our sorrows and pains. And the affectionate ones will steal our feelings and heart.
Like a bus.. These people will get in and get out of your life as they wish. It's hard to control and you can't influence the people that come to your life. Sometimes affectionate people could turn out to be bad people. They'll decide to get out of your life abruptly as they came in. You might beg, cry, threaten, get down on your knees, but if they want to get down, they will get down. They might surprise you by re-boarding from another bus stop..
Once you reached your stop, you have to get down whether you like it or not. At the end, you have to leave those people who came along on your bus ride. It's hard to let them go but eventually you have to, and that's why it's call 'Life'. So just enjoy the ride and try not to make attachments that hard to let go.
When you board a bus, you have some sense about your final destination. However, some people might get into the bus without knowing where to go or where to get down but nonetheless they are going on a journey without much sense. Most of us will know where to get off the bus. Sometimes, a bus ride could be joyous, tolerable, or an utter misery.
Whatever opinion you have on bus rides, you have to accept the fact that it could be an exciting one. You will acknowledge diverse set of people we come across in a bus ride. Some will smile; some will form life long friendships or become your "Bus Buddy"; some will give you a seat; some will take you bag (or luggage) will help you out; some will frown; some will hate you for stepping on their feet. Then there's some less fortunate ask for your help, various street sellers, and occasional 'Virudu' guy where you'll give if you have any spare change. Also if you really unlucky someone will come and rob you broad daylight. Now do you start to see some similarities between our life and a bus ride.
Out of all those distractions what fascinates me most are the colorful people that one will come across. The sad part is you can't screen those people before you bump into them. Some people will make you happy, some people will make sad, some people will hurt you, some people will add mystery; some people will make you wonder. Whoever you meet, there are primarily three types of people. They are bad, good and affectionate. The bad people we meet will rob our dignity, love, affection or maybe even life. The good people will only steal our sorrows and pains. And the affectionate ones will steal our feelings and heart.
Like a bus.. These people will get in and get out of your life as they wish. It's hard to control and you can't influence the people that come to your life. Sometimes affectionate people could turn out to be bad people. They'll decide to get out of your life abruptly as they came in. You might beg, cry, threaten, get down on your knees, but if they want to get down, they will get down. They might surprise you by re-boarding from another bus stop..
Once you reached your stop, you have to get down whether you like it or not. At the end, you have to leave those people who came along on your bus ride. It's hard to let them go but eventually you have to, and that's why it's call 'Life'. So just enjoy the ride and try not to make attachments that hard to let go.
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
The Art of Letting Go Past Relationships
Recently I went through a breakup. What I had with her was something very close to my heart and I found it difficult deal with the breakup. At first, it felt like a mini-death, complete with a grieving process.
Then I was shocked and in denial. I didn't believe it’s over and I hold out hope. Next I felt hurt and guilt. I should have done things differently. If I did I wouldn’t be in this pain.
Then I felt angry and maybe even started bargaining. It would be different if I gave it a second (or third) go. I wouldn’t be so insecure, defensive, or demanding. Then I felt depressed and lonely as it hits me how much I have lost.
Eventually I start accepting what happened and shift my focus from the past to the future. Some tips that might help you to move on when you are in a breakup.
1. Release Regrets
Do not dwell on where it wrong and how it fix it. You might think it's productive. But it's not. You can't change what happened.
2. Learn from the experience
What you had learnt from the experience will help to develop a closure.
3. Visualize a new you
The person you were before you met your last love was a pretty awesome one. Be that strong, passionate, and happy person you were before you met her (or him).
4. Remember the bad as well as the good
Let go of the 'Complicated Grief' - a persistent sense of longing for someone we lost with romanticized memories of the relationship.
No relationship is all sunshine, roses, and rainbows. you might think your ex is perfect since she (or he) breakup with you. In reality, both have strength and weaknesses. You both made mistakes.
And always think "It's easier to let go a human than a hero"
5. Don't think about any time as lost
Think of all the positive achievements you made during the relationship. Always focus on the positive things you did and it'll help you to move because you will not feel victimized by your ex or by time.
6. Make space for your present reality
Take down her pictures.. Delete her emails, SMSs, and anything that'll make you remember her.
7. Write everything you want to express in a letter
you might choose to sent it or not (in my case I sent it) but expressing your real feelings towards her will help you to come into terms with the reality.
8. Remember the benefits of moving on
Do not torture yourself by holding into the past. Let it go and new possibilities will always be present for you.
9. Replace fearful thoughts
At times when you hold onto things, it more likely an attachment than the love. So replace whatever the fear you have with positive thoughts.
10. Embrace impermanence
In the eternal teachings of Buddha, "Nothing lasts forever". Eventually everything will run it's course and come to an end.
Finally always remember "Loving myself means letting go"..
~ Compiled using various resources on the Net ~
Then I was shocked and in denial. I didn't believe it’s over and I hold out hope. Next I felt hurt and guilt. I should have done things differently. If I did I wouldn’t be in this pain.
Then I felt angry and maybe even started bargaining. It would be different if I gave it a second (or third) go. I wouldn’t be so insecure, defensive, or demanding. Then I felt depressed and lonely as it hits me how much I have lost.
Eventually I start accepting what happened and shift my focus from the past to the future. Some tips that might help you to move on when you are in a breakup.
1. Release Regrets
Do not dwell on where it wrong and how it fix it. You might think it's productive. But it's not. You can't change what happened.
2. Learn from the experience
What you had learnt from the experience will help to develop a closure.
3. Visualize a new you
The person you were before you met your last love was a pretty awesome one. Be that strong, passionate, and happy person you were before you met her (or him).
4. Remember the bad as well as the good
Let go of the 'Complicated Grief' - a persistent sense of longing for someone we lost with romanticized memories of the relationship.
No relationship is all sunshine, roses, and rainbows. you might think your ex is perfect since she (or he) breakup with you. In reality, both have strength and weaknesses. You both made mistakes.
And always think "It's easier to let go a human than a hero"
5. Don't think about any time as lost
Think of all the positive achievements you made during the relationship. Always focus on the positive things you did and it'll help you to move because you will not feel victimized by your ex or by time.
6. Make space for your present reality
Take down her pictures.. Delete her emails, SMSs, and anything that'll make you remember her.
7. Write everything you want to express in a letter
you might choose to sent it or not (in my case I sent it) but expressing your real feelings towards her will help you to come into terms with the reality.
8. Remember the benefits of moving on
Do not torture yourself by holding into the past. Let it go and new possibilities will always be present for you.
9. Replace fearful thoughts
At times when you hold onto things, it more likely an attachment than the love. So replace whatever the fear you have with positive thoughts.
10. Embrace impermanence
In the eternal teachings of Buddha, "Nothing lasts forever". Eventually everything will run it's course and come to an end.
Finally always remember "Loving myself means letting go"..
~ Compiled using various resources on the Net ~
Being Strong ...
I came across the following when I was doing some leisure reading on the net. It's sort of fits my current tangle I'm in..
Being strong is;
to love someone in silence,
to radiate happiness when we are unhappy,
to forgive someone who does not deserve forgiveness,
to stay calm in moments of despair,
to show joy when we don't feel it,
to smile when you want to cry,
to make someone happy when our own heart is broken,
to be silent when we feel like screaming our anguish,
to comfort when we need to be comforted,
to have faith when sometimes we no longer believe.
Author - Anonymous
Being strong is;
to love someone in silence,
to radiate happiness when we are unhappy,
to forgive someone who does not deserve forgiveness,
to stay calm in moments of despair,
to show joy when we don't feel it,
to smile when you want to cry,
to make someone happy when our own heart is broken,
to be silent when we feel like screaming our anguish,
to comfort when we need to be comforted,
to have faith when sometimes we no longer believe.
Author - Anonymous
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
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